Bilbo:(v.o.) No thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations!
Gandalf: And what about very old friends?
(The door opens and Bilbo stares at Gandalf in disbelief)
Bilbo: Gandalf?
Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins!
Bilbo: My dear Gandalf!
(They give each other a big hug)
Gandalf: Good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old! Who would believe it? (Gandalf takes a closer look at Bilbo) You haven't aged a day.
(Bilbo runs inside, beckoning Gandalf in and holding the door open for him.)
Bilbo: Come on, come in! Welcome, welcome! Oh, here we are.
(He closes the door behind Gandalf and takes his hat and staff.)
Bilbo: Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left. 1296. Very good year. Almost as old as I am! Hahaha! It was laid down by my father. What say we open one, eh?
Gandalf: Just tea, thank you.
(Bilbo runs around the hobbit hole, Gandalf backs into a the chandelier, then turns and bumps his head onto the beam. He rubs his forehead and walks into Bilbo's study. He looks at the papers on the desk, a map of The Lonely Mountain among them. Bilbo continues to talk to him about what there is to eat.)
Bilbo: I was expecting you sometime last week. Not that it matters/. You come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've got cold chicken and a bit of pickle... there's some cheese here. Oh no it won't do. We've got raspberry jam, an apple tart... But not much for afters - Oh, no, we're all right. I've just found some sponge cake. (enters the study, looking for Gandalf, who has left) I could make you some eggs if you'd like- Oh. Gandalf?
(Gandalf peers into the study from the kitchen behind Bilbo.)
Gandalf: Just tea, thank you.
Bilbo: Oh, right. You don't mind if I eat, do you? (stuffing some food into his mouth)
Gandalf:(sitting down at the table) No, not at all.
(A sharp knock is heard on the door and a woman's voice is heard)
Lobelia:(v.o.) Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins!
(Bilbo throws himself towards the wall, choking on his food, in a desperate attempt to hide. Then he turns to Gandalf, whispering)
Bilbo: I'm not at home!
(He tiptoes over to the window in the study, taking a peek at who is outside.)
Bilbo: It's the Sackville-Bagginses.
Lobelia:(v.o.) I know you're in there!